Master’s Moleskine

Today’s Quote;
Only one who devotes himself to a cause with his whole strength and soul can be a true master. For this reason mastery demands all of a person.” – Albert Einstein

My Thoughts; I’ve been thinking of late about the pivotal events in a man’s life.  Pivotal as in vitally important, especially in determining the outcome, progress, or success of something. Pivotal in the sense that we recognize the significance of that moment…after which everything has changed in some way and you find yourself headed in a new or different direction.  In a man’s life there are many.

  • The first time something or someone you cared about passed away. 
  • Creating something with your own hands for the first time. 
  • Devotion of your time and intention to Becoming Really Good at Something
  • Making that first Big Purchase
  • …Or what about the first time she lifted her hips slightly to enable you to take off her panties.  No..Not last week – although good for you if that is the case…Im talking about the first time it happened, ever. That’s pivotal Bro.  
  • What about the first time you truly glimpsed the Path you were on – and you understood what it means to devote yourself to Mastery…
  • What are some of your pivotal events?  What did they teach you? What have you learned?
Things We Love; There are some transcendant moments when you realize how good it is to be alive and how excellent it is to be a man.  We dont get together as much or as often as we should, but there is nothing to compare to the experience of laughing together with men of like minds. In my minds eye I can go back to a warm evening with two very dear friends…two of us with cigars and two fingers of the dark liquor of our choice in hand, the other with a cigarette.  I dont remember what the hell we talked about – its not important.  What is important to me is the laughter.  Deep, rich..from the belly..the kind that leaves you slumped over sideways in your chair, short of breath and wiping a tear out of the corner of your eye with the back of your hand.  It comes in waves – as soon as it dies down, someone will say something that will start it up again.

My wish for every man is that you be blessed with friends that you can laugh with like that.  I believe the entire world would benefit.

Now, It’s not too late if you do not have that kind of relationship in your life, and I’ll share with you a profound secret that I’ve discovered along the way.  You can change big things in your life today, if that’s what you want.  And only you can want whatever it is in such a way that it is going to work for you. Say what it is that you want. Not ‘in your head’ – actually say it out loud. Yes, I know it sounds goofy – but its real. What if the things that are missing in our lives arent there simply because we’ve never said that’s what we wanted?  The concept of self-advocacy is taught in the schools these days all the time. People of our generation missed a lot of those lessons. So lets begin today – now, while nobody’s looking lets advocate for ourselves and speak our truth out into the void. Having good friends does not have to be a rare occurrance that only happens to other people. And by saying this to yourself, today….only you will know the truth of it and see it actually begin to unfold after this moment, true? Of course if you want to share your success with me, I’d love to hear about it!  Do it now!

Music in my Head: Old school stuff…Marvin Gaye singing Distant Lover live…Steely Dan, AJA…Earth Wind and Fire….Would.You Mind..
Travels; We have graduations happening over the next couple of weeks, so no travels other than the usual.  Looking forward to flying home Friday morning! 
Deliciousness; Read an article in Esquire about making the Best Burger in the World.  What that means is taking the time to identify your own special blend of meat, grinding it and including your own blend of spices.  Im planning on two parts chuck with good marbling to one part sirloin. I plan on doing just that this weekend to celebrate my daughters graduation from high school with a serious BBQ. Its going to be messy no doubt, but its also going to be fantastic. There’s nothing like chilling in the evening smelling of smoke with a celebratory beverage in hand and seeing everyone around you full and happy. Im looking forward to this weekend!

Adventures this week; I’ve been working on focusing my intention toward what it is that I actually WANT out of this life instead of spending so much time and energy thinking about that which I do NOT want. It seems like a small distinction, but it is actually very important. Check this;
“Continuing to tell stories of shortage only continues to contradict your desire for abundance, and you cannot have it both ways: You cannot focus upon unwanted and receive wanted. You cannot focus upon stories about money that make you feel uncomfortable and allow into your experience what makes you feel comfortable. A different story will bring different results: My thoughts are the basis for the attraction of all things that I consider to be good, which includes enough money, and health, for my comfort and joy.”
— Abraham
Ex Libris; Spook Country, William Gibson; overheard on a plane that there is a new Laurell K Hamilton out AND a new J.R. Ward.  I want them both.
I am thankful for; my slave, good friends and family and a good nights rest. If you’ve ever suffered from even the smallest bout with insomnia you know how good it is to rest deeply and peacefully and to awaken refreshed and ready to meet the challenges of the day.
Discover the Event;  The next large scale event is going to be in Atlanta GA where we will be doing two classes at SELF, June 11-13. The weekend after we are going to be in NOLA and the following weekend in our nations capital – currently looking around to see what trouble we can get into in both of those wonderful cities. If you have some good ideas, let me know…

Wisdom; You are close to your goal. Rest if you must – but dont you quit.

When I was a kid, my Dad would recite parts of this poem to me and as corny as it seemed then – its amazing how often I’ve heard these words in my head, in his voice…right at the time when I needed them. I offer a bit of it to you here and a link to where you can read the whole thing – enjoy. 

When things go wrong, as they sometimes will,
When the road you’re trudging seems all uphill,
When the funds are low and the debts are high,
And you want to smile, but you have to sigh,
When care is pressing you down a bit,
Rest, if you must, but don’t you quit.

Master’s Moleskine

Today’s Quote;

“A man who is master of himself can end a sorrow as easily as he can invent a pleasure. I don’t want to be at the mercy of my emotions. I want to use them, to enjoy them, and to dominate them.”

                                                                                                                        Oscar Wilde
My Thoughts; I’ve been thinking of late about outer vs inner space. By that I mean that its wonderful to spend an evening over libations and good conversation concerning the weighty issues of the day, be they political, sports related or general philosophy..explore ‘outer space’ But what about the interior? As I get older Im recognizing the importance of looking inside, not being so concerned about what “they” are doing “out there” but what am I doing ‘in here’? What am I thinking? Feeling? Concerned with today? How is my health? What are my goals? My beliefs?
Things We Love;  Recently had an opportunity to see the premiere of the opera “Moby Dick” – words fail me to describe how wonderful it was to hear voices raised in song…Sometimes we are so blessed and fortunate to be in the presence of greatness, of mastery. There is something of the sacred in bearing witness to the moment in which you see another human being at the peak of their game, doing best That Thing They were Meant to Do. I cherish and savor those moments whenever and wherever I find them.
Music in my Head:  Corinne Bailey Rae, live…singing Since I Been Loving You. Maxwell – Pretty Wings, Enigma, Touchness.
Travels; has been seriously much of late. A few weeks ago we were in Florida presenting at Beyond Leather, Two weeks ago in San Jose for the NWLC. Then last week for regular biz, traveled to Dallas then Las Vegas, then back to Houston and then Dallas, then home to Austin. In one week. Deep breath.
Deliciousness; Looking forward to some deliciously hot catfish filets this evening for dinner, perhaps paired with a nice red wine as we are out of whites and its serious T-Storms outside so Im not going to the store to get any. Maybe I’ll enjoy them with a frosty Red Stripe instead of wine.

Adventures this week; after a week that I had last week – we were still looking forward to traveling back to LA for DomCon, however the titanic T-Storms that snarled air traffic on Friday effectively negated getting out to LA. this weekend. Doing nothing, otoh can be its own event. It was sweet.
Ex Libris; The War of the Flowers, by Tad Williams, The Science of Happiness
I am thankful for; Durable 737’s that can handle lightning strikes and keep chugging along through the skies. The art and science of wine making. Good wine is amazing.
Discover the Event;  Our next event is for the TNG group here in Austin, Tx.  The class is on Mastery and Authenticity. The next large scale event is going to be in Atlanta GA where we will be doing two classes at SELF, June 11-13.

Wisdom; Sometimes you stand alone.

Sometimes life throws you curves you werent expecting. MLK said that we start to die when we neglect to speak up about things that really matter. If you have to stand alone concerning something important, and that time has come upon you when you were looking the other way..dont despair. You are ready. You’ve always been ready…and you will find the strength to do that which must be done when you need it.  Your whole life has been preparing you for this time, whether you realize it or not. You can do this.

Mastery vs Selfishness…

When is a Master like a Big Baby?  Is Mastery just selfishness dressed for the prom?

A hungry or wet baby isn’t trying to be mean or cruel to you as a parent by whimpering, crying or throwing an enraged screaming fit when needs aren’t being met. The baby doesn’t care about your bad day at the office or the fact that your car broke down and it took you an extra two hours to get home.  They arent being cruel because they aren’t malicious at heart. They are creatures of pure need and they are helpless to provide for themselves. They are clueless about your day because that is beyond their scope of reference.  The largest and most important Being in their universe is themselves. In the case of an infant, being totally self referenced isnt a sin – its entirely appropriate for their stage of development.  As a Master on the other hand, being entirely self referenced is not only inappropriate, but for the long term health of the M/s dynamic could be potentially deadly to the relationship. Being clueless of what is going on with my slave and being totally focused on my own needs and wants is irresponsible at the least and potentially dangerous at the worst.  
Okay – enough metaphor for one day. 
But lets not ignore the question…how is being a Master not an elaborate exercise in self referenced behavior? Is our care and control exercised for the safety and well-being of those that we own an elaborate ruse to get our own needs met? Is there anything wrong with recognizing the fact that you need to give in order to get?  After all, nobody would accuse me of selfish motives for spending my hard earned lucre on gas when the gauge gets below half full, or on tires or necessary parts when my auto is in a state of disrepair. There is an implicit understanding in the care and feeding of automobiles that if you plan to own and drive one for any length of time, the amount of care you will indirectly receive from said auto is at least commensurate with the amount of care you put into it.
Ok, so sue me. More metaphor.  Delicious.
Seriously though – You get the point, RM?  If we can take care of our tools, our automobiles and our domicile however grandiose or humble…then we should be actively and seriously looking at what is necessary to take care of our slave(s) or submissive(s) as well.
But take into consideration for a moment RM that ‘what is necessary’ can wear many different robes. Consider the property that is energized and fulfilled precisely by behavior from the owner that most would characterize as incredibly selfish, bordering on negligence or disinterest. Lets create a shared language of understanding around the term ‘care’for instance. Lets toss out the references to ‘care’ being synonymous with ‘burdensome’ because for this example they are tangential to the subject.  I would submit, gentle RM that terms like ‘close attention’ would apply here. What about watchful oversight; charge or supervision – or to be concerned or interested.  When we apply terms such as these to the Master/slave dynamic, these terms lead us down another very interesting pathway.
Picture a Master – perhaps yourself, gentle RM…taking your ease in your favorite chair. Your dress is comfortable you are enjoying a glass of your favorite vintage and you have your feet out front of you, resting comfortably on the back of your slave.  Your cigar is lit and you are leisurely smoking perhaps, if such is your predilection, and one of your slaves hands is open at the ready to receive the ash, at the appropriate time. Some might prefer to use the mouth as ashtray, I’ve heard.  Using your slave(s) as inanimate object might seem cruel and unusual to the untrained eye. However I believe that if done well, both Master and slave enjoy the experience in a state of bliss. Why? Because there is a critical distinction between selfishness and care within the M/s dynamic although in practice, actions may look fundamentally the same – only the intent behind them is different.  The critical distinction is that selfishness cares not at all about outcome. The selfish hand takes without giving back and the selfish mouth consumes without regard as to where the provenance comes from. In this instance the selfish Master, the Big Baby that we referred to earlier doesn’t give a tinker’s damn what the slave is getting out of the experience. The caring Master on the other hand, although appearing to possess a cruel demeanor and a aloof, even dismissive affect, is at the same time observing very carefully and on some level is cataloging actions and reactions of the slave. The caring Master is mindful of the level and severity of fatigue experienced by the slave in holding the specific position, and may also be intentional about how long the slave can hold a specific position without moving.
In fact, that Master may decide to push the slave to near or complete failure by a specific action, or series of actions simply because he/she receives pleasure from doing so. They may be visibly unmoved by trembling, by tears or the apparent excruciating sensations generated within the body of the slave in holding said position. But this is all intentional. It takes energy, intention and focus to momentarily ignore or disavow the perceived needs of the submissive or slave for comfort, for respite or for a host of things that many would consider pleasant and ‘good’. To ignore their basic human needs for a time in pursuit of a specific goal or set of goals. The astute RM seeks not to be surprised by outcomes, for each test, each trial whether physical, as in this example or even spiritual or mental is a portal, an opportunity for the growth and development of the person owned, or for their instruction in one way or another.  This isnt to say that the RM is omniscient or omnipresent – what he or she is…is paying attention.
Let us be Mindful RM.

Dont forget

“Your days are short here; this is the last of your springs. And now in the serenity and quiet of this lovely place, touch the depths of truth, feel the hem of Heaven. You will go away with old, good friends. And don’t forget when you leave why you came.” Adlai Stevenson

This is the path we trod – our shared search for meaning, a search for that quintessential *something* – that thing that once found will forever be a part of us and now while on our search is almost always seen in shadow, peripherally – out of the corner of our eye. It is maddening sometimes, this search. But occasionally you find it. You grasp it and make it your own. 

For some of us the realization of this truth will be found in movement, in the actual doing of something – righting some wrong or climbing higher or running further than we thought we could. Pushing beyond our boundaries. Reaching out beyond ourselves and doing it anyway. No matter what anyone else says, either for or against. 

For others, the simple joy will be found in living rapturously, intensely – experientally. The sight of something so beautiful that it makes your whole body smile. The immersion in redolent scents, in the tasting of things fantastically crispy, or rich or silky smooth..  Or in the watching of the world around us unfolding and the wisdom of the nautilus and the spiral stair – patterns repeat themselves and we are here because we have always been here and will always be. Hear the symphony contained within a single note..

And let us not forget those for whom living intentionally means pouring themselves out like water, soaking deep into the hidden places, the cracked and dry blasted plains of our lives and literally drenching those parched, arid vistas with their passion – they bring us both laughter and tears and we come away from their presence refreshed, clean..renewed. We walk forward with the scent of their rain in our hair and the memory of clouds.  Don’t forget to say thank you. 

We are our stories.

Take a moment – Look at your hands and resolve that for the next five minutes you will live an intentional existence. Be here. Right here and right now. Look for once through your own eyes at that which lies before you. Eat it up. Taste it. Smell it.  Live it. 

Make it last.

You hear that? 

Your life is calling. Go find out what it wants! 

NorthWest Leather Celebration 2010


Master and i had the pleasure of attending the NWLC for the first time last weekend. This event was so wonderful and didn’t seem as rushed and hurried as many events we attend. We had the luxury of moving at a bit of a slower pace even though Master was judging the NorthWest M/s 2010 contest. It was wonderful to catch up with some friends, go shopping with Mo (of IMsL 2010 fame) sip champagne and smell the yumminess of Master’s cigars. Ms Margaret and slave erich and their crew put on a great conference. We were picked up at the airport promptly with water waiting for us (it’s the little things when you get in as late as we did and are nearly delirious!) The hotel is lovely (i love sleep number beds, have i mentioned that?) with a rather interesting architectural history. The weather was lovely. The classes were greatly varied with wonderful silent auctions (a must do!) and Great Vendors! The only downside is that the Cafe is smallish with limited offerings but there are lots of fast food places and sushi within walking distance, and pizza places that deliver. We presented “The Alchemy of Compatibility” which went amazing and we got loads of good feedback. Among the “extras” at the conference was a Champagne and Chocolate mixer and a Cigar and Port mixer both by the pool. Can you say yummy??

We had a fabulous time and can’t wait to come back again!!