A farewell…

As i come to the end of this year i am deeply aware of what i am moving away from.

This is not how we intended to end our year. We had plans and they were many and exciting.

The last days of this year spent in merriment and jubilation with friends, parties and game nights and movies and revelry.

But children got a bit sick and then i became sicker. i am rarely ill – so for me to be knocked down on my bottom sick is unusual. Fever and laying in bed since Friday even more so. In fact nearly unheard of.

Between sweat soaked sheets and cayenne laced soup came the burning up of illusions and clarity of self.

The Apocalypse at last.

It helps to know that Apocalypse means “Uncovering”.

And that’s how i’ve felt – undone, unwrapped, exposed. And it is good.

Master and i having conversations and watching illusions melt away. Approaching with blazing curiosity and enthusiastic unknowing the past and the present as well as the future.  Previous decisions reviewed with an eye towards gentleness and compassion. Awareness of tiny tendrils which have crept in unawares – what to keep and what to prune back. Seeds to plant and plants which need to be uprooted and let go of – even if difficult. Friendships and familial relationships that have either grown closer or are asking to be free. Allowing to remain only that which we desire to strengthen. That which sustains us. That which we desire to sustain. Connecting above all else to desire, yearning and pleasure. Centering deeply in these as anchors for intention.

As we prepare to release this year  – allowing the ache of letting go and  honoring the opportunities it brought, the loves, the changes and transformations.  It is a year that will never be again. The pages have turned  and the time of potential for 2012 is over. i consciously say goodbye, with a warm embrace, a tender kiss and a tear. Thank you for all you have brought into and removed from my life. Thank you for growth and dormancy. For risings and fallings, for clarity and mystery.
Self acceptance and self-renewal.

We come to the end.  We walk through death to reborn.

2012, my love…i bid you a fond adieu.

 

 

Holiday shopping? Get soaked!

Greetings,
As many of you may know Master and i are super passionate about helping people have sustainable, authentic, powerful, healthy, and HOT relationships. It’s way big on our list of “Why we are here”. Realizing that everyone who is in a Power Exchange dynamic is NOT necessarily a part of the community aspect (munches, face to face meetings, play parties etc;), able to afford one-on-one coaching or mentoring with us, or able to attend conferences (when the average price for a conference for 2 including hotel and meals will cost about $500! That’s not including airfare) – Master and i put our heads together and decided to offer “Immersion” – no, not the event we put on through our local MAsT chapter- this is different.

This is a year of getting positively soaked and drenched in education, activities and processes right in your own home… at your own speed. We all know full immersion is the best way to learn and internalize new ideas and now we bring that idea to your dynamic as well. We’ve decided to record some of our classes (with more added through the year), and make them available to members of our Immersion Circle. In addition we’re offering affirmations and tips on Power exchange -to keep it practical and actual. Then there’s the monthly chat which is part coaching, part Masterminding and part Party rolled up into one which is worth the price of admission itself.  We’re putting it all out there. All of ourselves, our experiences, our history and how we make our Power dynamic work and stay juicy all while keeping it relevant by giving you an opportunity to ask your questions, tell your story and apply it to your life. .

We’re really big on “under promise and over deliver”  – and we’re way way excited to be able to offer ourselves in this way. This may be a great opportunity for you if you’re

  • New to Power Exchange
  • Struggling
  • Wanting education and connection and unable to afford it
  • Wanting education and connection but none is available in your area
  • Love our classes and want more
  • Seasoned in your dynamic and wanting to keep it fabulous.
  • You’re Leather, Gorean, TPE or PPE (partial power exchange), M/s or D/s or D/g or LMNOP – or none of the above. It doesn’t matter which community you identify with only that it is Power Exchange.

 

This isn’t for everyone we know. If this vibes for you GREAT! We look forward to having you! If you’re on the fence this may help -This most likely isn’t for you if:

  • You have no interest in Power exchange dynamics personally
  • You are argumentative (Be kind is the rule of the day!)
  • Find no resonance in our blog posts or classes
  • Aren’t willing to invest financially in your dynamic and education
  • Think all of this is “just taking things too seriously”

Right now we’re lowering the cost even more because – well it’s the Holidays and we love to find a reason to give gifts and help others give gifts as well!!  You can take (or give) Immersion now for only $125 a year for Power (for Master, Dominants etc;) or surrender (submissives, slaves etc;) or for $200 a year for couples! This price is in effect until 1/31/13

Here’s all the juicy bits right here

Have a question? Want more information? Leave a comment!

 

Ooops! And apologies!

While scouting about for hot and spectacular images depicting power exchange we came across non-personal photo sharing sites where  explicit, BDSM and other types of images were available.  It has come to our attention that while these images are freely available on the net some subjects may not desire their photos to be used by this site. We totally get that and apologize sincerely, it was an oversight on our part. As a result of this and our own caution some images have been removed.

Maybe this means Master and i will just have to post more images from our personal albums, hmm?

In submission and surrender to Him,

~slave namaste

Decide…then Direct

 

The action of providing direction is beneficial to the power exchange relationship in a number of ways.  Primarily, it clarifies the position of both parties and is a source of pleasure and energy for the power exchange relationship. The person on the ‘control’ side of the power exchange relationship provides direction to the other participants in the relationship. The person being controlled and directed feels safe and secure in response.  Master and slave, Dominant and submissive run on different fuel.  However, I’ve talked to a number of dominants that struggle with this from time to time. There are probably any number of reasons for this – but the one that I see quite often manifests in this fashion; “Being in control and providing direction is a wonderful experience for me. It is because I love/care for/appreciate you so much, that occasionally I will reward you by sharing this power with you.  This will take the form of  A.allowing you autonomy to make your own decisions  or B. I may even begin training you – my slave/submissive to begin exercising dominance on your own!! If you do a good job, eventually I may allow you to (gasp) have a submissive or slave of your very own!!! Wont that be GRAND?!

NO. No it will not be grand at all. Comparing this situation to the plot of a sci-fi movie, this would be where Our Hero slips on a banana peel and accidently drops the glowing test tube of toxins into the town’s water supply. When we as Dominants decide to share our joy of control with those that have exchanged their power with us, disaster often ensues for the relationship, but not immediately.  Its easy to mistake the fact that one’s submissive or slave takes to wielding power like a duck takes to water as clear indication from the universe that said submissive was ‘meant’ to be dominant all along. The actual reasons for this kinky metamorphosis may be quite different, and not as mystical in nature. Submissives in similar situations gravitating toward dominance at your direction is connected to why you, Kind Sir/Madam selected them in the first place, namely their tendency to have strong desires to PLEASE their DOMINANT. They are after all EXCELLENT at taking direction, even if the directions are toward an area of the map where they themselves would not ordinarily venture. Also one cant ignore the fact that we are all possessed of a near infinite variability and potential. It is most unfortunate when Masters discover too late that the harmony they enjoyed as M/s begins to dissipate pretty rapidly in a M/m environment.

There are of course a thousand thousand variations on this theme – what about switches? what about those that encourage the above scenario by design instead of by accident?  There will of course always be those individual circumstances that dont fit what I’ve described exactly or relationships that are apparently thriving in an environment I would personally consider inhospitable for my power exchange relationship.

YMMV etc.

Lets get back to the point. If it is my desire that my slave accomplish a particular goal or outcome, the scenario I illustrated above demonstrates the necessity of that DIRECTION, without it there typically will be little movement toward the desired outcome.  Of course Im being overly simplistic here – it is always a possibility that the slave can intuit my general intent and motivate him or herself towards the achievement of  the best possible outcome.  ASK then DECIDE highlighted the fact that having a discussion is not synonymous with making a decision.  It then follows that once the decision is made it must be communicated to be effective.  More specifically, after I’ve decided what should be done, it is essential to the health of our relationship to provide closure by giving a directive as to what will be done next.

A directive can cover any time period in the future, “this afternoon, I want you to call her back and tell her we will be there on Thursday as agreed”  be attached to other conditions “go to the store and if they have the hubbards on sale, purchase that – otherwise purchase brand X.”  ..and also be communicative for yourself as well as your charge.  “For the next month, we are both going to get up and do our meditations first before we begin our work day” Note that I said it can cover any time period in the future – I know a fair amount of Masters who are fond of giving directives that can only really be accomplished in the PAST. “You should have known to check with me FIRST before doing that!”  Not only is a directive to do something in the past impossible, this behaviour doesnt improve the relationship and often leads to confusion and unhappy, demotivated slaves and submissives.

Also, communicating preferences without directives can temporarily put the slave in a very uncomfortable position. ‘I love the taste of fresh lemonade!’ – Master exclaims. (the slave tries to figure out ‘is that for always? or for right now? should I put lemons on the shopping list? does Master want to be surprised by fresh lemonade? should we always have fresh lemonade in the house from now on?’)ad infinitum. The submissive or slave can really spin their mental wheels trying to ‘cover all the bases’ in an attempt to be pleasing. You can make things run a lot smoother by remembering to follow preferences with a directive ‘when you go shopping, buy lemons – and always make sure we have fresh lemonade on hand’

‘Should statements’ can often masquerade as free floating, anxiety producing pseudo directives- Master looks around the room “we should paint in here”. (slave thinks…when? what color? do it yourself or hire someone?) Master says “You know what? we should eat out more often!” (should slave get dressed? tonight? this weekend? or is this just increased frequency in comparison to how often we normally go out? ) The point of these examples is not to encourage Masters to dramatically restructure the way they talk, but to raise awareness and mindfulness concerning an area that many of us take for granted – that we are communicating effectively. The words of the Master tend to fall from lofty heights onto the ears of the slave and arrive with both velocity and impact.  The slave or submissive is always listening for the ‘go do’ associated with a clear directive.  Even if they get it ‘right’ by intuition, similarity to a previous directive or accident – if they proceed to act without a clear directive the result is less than satisfactory for both dominant and submissive, and actually is an energy drain on the relationship. It sounds deceptively simple, but most of the time when there is a general ‘blah’ feeling or a significant loss of enthusiasm in the power exchange dynamic it is due to neglect in this important area.

I receive pleasure from exercising control and dominance over my slave – it energizes me. My namaste by comparison receives pleasure from her response to my excercizing control and dominance in her direction, which energizes her.  The feedback loop of her responses of submission and surrender is also delicious to me, which becomes an additional motivating factor toward more dominance and control, and so it goes.  Mindfulness in communication can yield amazing dividends in the form of increased peacefulness and harmony in the power exchange dynamic.

Do the Work:  This week, pay attention to how often you are presented with information and what you do with it after you’ve received it. Do you tend to internalize it and keep it in your own head without communicating your wishes? Do you delay communicating a directive because you expect your submissive to ‘intuit’ what your directive would be? Are you concerned about being ‘wrong’ or communicating an ill advised directive? How many ‘preferences’ have you stated that have unintentionally become ‘law’ in your world? Is a stated preference synonymous with a directive in your relationship? Ask your submissive to list how many ‘rules’ you have that are really preferences in disguise. Commit yourself to deciding what you want done and providing clear direction whenever you are presented with new information.