SWLC 2013

This past weekend Master and I attended the SouthWest Leather Conference 2013

It was an amazing conference and while we were too occupied to attend any classes I still came away with a profound and deep opening and understanding.

Master and I were honored to have been asked to teach one class and to emcee for the event. This was our first time emcee’ing at a Lifestyle event and it was SUCH a Blast! We really enjoyed ourselves and based on the feedback – the audience found it pleasurable as well. Congrats to the new Titleholders Todd and elizabath as SWLC Master and slave 2013, and Treasure as SWLC Bootblack 2013. All of the contestants were absolutely phenomenal!!

We spent most of the weekend working on a Big Project that has been on Master’s Heart and in His Vision for a while – and one which I am honored to help bring to pass. More on this very very soon.

Beyond the sitting with some of the most amazing, seasoned and respected Leather people in my life gleaning wisdom, insight and depth,  bringing Mama Reinhardt to tears, introducing a new look, meeting new people and getting to know a lot better many others – one of the highlights of the weekend was listening to Master Patrick Mulcahey’s Keynote. When it appears online I will definitely link to it. Master called it “pure poetry” – we were both moved to tears. I know my recollection will not do it justice- but there were two main take-aways that were most resonant for me and reflective of my own thoughts.

  • Spirituality takes many forms. There is no one true way of connection to Spirit. Everyone does not feel that they hear from the Universe. The NOT hearing can be as much a part of their path as hearing. ( And from this I deepen my understanding of the role of each of us. Sometimes the Voice of the Universe is really YOUR Voice… how’s that for powerful??)
  • The idea that M/s should not involve being in love with your Master or slave, or that being in love somehow lessens the dynamic or is a “lower” form of M/s is not universally accepted – nor should it be. There can be both a Oneness (The Master Owns His slave in the same way that He owns His hand), an a love relationship that does not lessen the dynamic at all. It is just yet another facet and expression that this beautiful thing called Power Exchange can take.

I was also honored to be the recipient of the SWLC Leatherwoman’s Award 2013.  This award is given to one who is felt to exemplify authenticity and integrity. I can not express in words the shock, honor and weight this held for me. I am truly humbled to have been honored in this way. Master received  the Leatherman’s award last year and for me to follow in His footsteps is doubly blessed. Thank you.

So – if you haven’t attend SWLC – please do – its an amazing amazing conference full of WOO (Spirit) and connection and lots and lots of love!

In submission and surrender to Him,

slave Namaste

Who Am I – Interest or Identity

who-am-i-

This post has been on my mind for a while now- and I finally feel as though my thoughts, observations and understanding have crystallized into something coherent enough to put into words.

Master and I LOVE Indian culture. We enjoy the Indian aesthetic, Indian clothing style, spiritual views and language ( as is evidenced by my name, which is Sanskrit).  I am often thought to BE from India – and while I have not done my genetic make-up as of yet – I know that neither of my parents were born in India. All of which is to say that while we have an interest in and affinity for India – we do not identify as Indian.

 

What does this have to do with the Lifestyle? A few things.

 

Lately there are many new identifiers to choose from. Each identity tag holding it’s own mystique and “coolness”.  There are also more new people joining the Lifestyle daily, and while classes on technique are extraordinarily popular,  education on the Culture of this Lifestyle, on what it means to be Leather or identify as a certain thing  given from a place of personal relationship is becoming more and more scarce.  The net of these two things are that I’ve observed identities being picked up and stuck on like velcro – often before there is an understanding of what an identity entails.

 

First – I looked at the word identity itself – what does it mean?

Webster says :

  • 1a : sameness of essential or generic character in different instances
  • b : sameness in all that constitutes the objective reality of a thing : oneness
  • 2a : the distinguishing character or personality of an individual
When I read this and put it into my own language it boiled down to 2 things.  A continuity of characteristics in different instances by which one can objectively identify a thing. Or a predominant characteristic or personality.
That gave a great deal of insight for me. In addition Self-identity can be summed up as collection of beliefs about oneself.
So what does this mean in the Lifestyle?
For me it means that when coming to a point of choosing to Identify as something – it makes sense to research it. Know it. And more importantly know yourself.
I identify as Leather. Why? Because having formed friendships with those who were Leather, researched the history of Leather, understood the value systems of those I respect within the Leather community, and then looked at myself- I realized that my world view itself is Leather. That I fully agreed with and believed in the Historic Traditions, sense of connection and community and would allow those things to Live on through me and my walk.
I identify as slave. Why? Having researched the definition of slave it answered the longing of my heart. It was and is reflective of the way by which I seek to go through the world in relation to my Partner. It is not something I do on occasion or simply find fascinating. It is internalized as a state of being that is lived day to day.
I did not always identify as either of these things. When I first came into the community I identified as submissive (I am still submissive in relationship to my Owner) and didn’t understand all of the “community” hoopla. LOL. Over time, research and observation I realized that these 2 identities described my path.  They are descriptive – not prescriptive.  They inform on, not just my behavior on occasion – but how I desire to go through the world.
A few months ago I was asked if I identified as a Leather girl. My answer was no. Someone asked why. My understanding of Leather girl  is a feminine version of a Leather boy. And while I have observed the evolution of the term – it really doesn’t fit my personality or temperament.  I’m feminine but not necessarily girly as a characteristic.  I have an affinity for service – but for me that is not enough to identify as anything other than a person with an affinity for service. While I enjoy having fun- I can not see myself throwing myself into the activities described in this article.
And guess what? That’s okay! It doesn’t mean being a girl is wrong. That it’s “less”. It just means that it is not something that is a part of me enough for it be considered my identity.
I have a very close “twin” who identifies as a pig. When I heard her definition there was definitely some resonance, but I realized while at times I can behave sexually as piglet (lol) – it is not an identity for me. It is not a predominant characteristic in my sexual expression. It’s more of an occasional (very occasional) enjoyment.
I’ve also been asked if I identify as Pan sexual (I do not – although I find it interesting).
Gorean – Again I once held a huge interest in it, but it is not an identity.
Christian, Buddhist, Jewish, Hindu – Interest. Affinity and even previous identity – however the tenets and theology of these faiths do not permeate my being, world view etc; and therefore I will not dishonor them and confuse others by “claiming” that I am any single one of them.
So what’s the take away here exactly?
Feel free to explore the length and breath and height and depth of this Lifestyle. Feel free to enjoy whatever strikes your fancy – but if I may offer a bit of advice:
  • Understand what you’re choosing before you begin to call yourself something. Words are containers for meaning. Identity matters.
  • When an identity no longer fits you, feel free to let it go. There is no shame in owning and honoring your own self evolution and awareness.
  • Be clear about the distinction between identity, affinity and interest. One is not better than the other. To quickly determine the difference I think of it this way: Identity- internalized as Self.  Affinity – Leaning towards.  Interest – Looking at
  • If you’re not sure if something is your identity or not – Take your time! Research. Observe those who DO identify as that thing. Also pay attention to your Intuition- or inner guidance system

Finally we all seek belonging and acceptance. There is no shame in this. It is part of our experience of being human.  Recognize your own worth. You are brilliant and valuable and precious.  You are enough regardless of what you identify as.

~N

The Pleasure of Pageantry

One of the things i’ve been thinking of lately is Pageantry.

By Pageantry i’m referring to rich, splendid and magnificent display.

The word display is important because it means to bring into view.

What does any of this have to do with M/s?

As i have traveled this path i’ve noticed a tendency for less pageantry to seep into many M/s dynamics as time goes on. Also – a sort of jaded disinterest in cultivating the *feelings* of slavery and surrender.

There is a delicious intersection of the creation of pageantry and  feelings of surrender – at least in my experience and observation.

When pageantry is applied to the living and breathing of the dynamic as a rich, fragrant bringing into view of the difference in position – both partners are enriched.  Everything is heightened. Far from being an affectation or pretense it is the opening up of what is- the shedding of the mundane and the default.  Like an eagle spreading it’s wings to full span – it enables an alighting that does not occur when the heights of the dynamic are constrained under the yoke of “normalcy” and “mainstream”.

i simply adore the exercise and experience of such pageantry – both in our dynamic and when i am privileged to observe it in others.

From preparation to execution that there is an anticipation and awakening – a Pure and True arousal from consciousness. As i ready myself or am made ready for whatever has alighted His passion and caused His eye to fall on me in a way that elicits the response of lavish conduct. It is not an everyday thing. And there is no way to tell when He will decide that this is what he wants. Full preparation. Mystery. Anticipation. Ritual. Formality. A full immersive experience from beginning to end. This does not lessen our day to day grandeur. The every day can have it’s own sublime simplicity. That said, Energy flows where attention goes and bringing the whole of one’s attention to the experience of Pageantry means the energy is higher and of a more intense flavor.

The dress is different

The bathing is different

The speech is different

The slightest touch creates a blaze

The merest whisper becomes orgasmic

Pain is a portal

Pleasure is Purpose

As a slave pageantry allows me to sink into lavish expression of the state of being that fulfills me most deeply. To worship, adore and express devotion in a way that lays me open and heightens the spaces between my station and His while simultaneously bringing us both closer together. It is the ultimate paradox.

While some might say that pageantry is less “real” and scoff at it as the realm of fantasy – i don’t care. The spice of it intoxicates and creates a deliciousness that i hope never to have to do without. It reveals and lays bare the Pleasure lying hidden, the secret joys of a life lived in a Power Differential dynamic.