BYOE.  (Bring Your Own Energy)

You’ve eagerly anticipated going out to your favorite club, dungeon or event.  Its been weeks or months in the making. You are SO ready for this.  Finally – you get to the club and the energy is all funky. Blah. Not Happening.  What’s the problem?  The Music? Lighting? Temperature? Of course any of these elements can have an impact on how much you enjoy your evening, but much less than you might expect.  In fact, I would say that the external elements you encounter at an event constitute a very very small impact.  Less than 5%.  What about the other 95%?

That’s all on you.  Its internal.  And honestly, it begins waaaay before you arrive at your event.

Time is at a premium for all of us. We are busier and busier and often pulled in a lot of different directions.  When we have an opportunity to go out to the dungeon, club or party, it’s a pretty big deal. (or it should be!)  The problem that happens often is that we can forget to transition effectively from the harried pace of our ‘regular’ lives into the hotness of the event we are planning on attending. How can you as a Master or Dominant hold space to maximize your enjoyment of the evening? Learn how to hold space for yourself first – then for those who serve you. Instead of waiting/depending on the event organizers or other people to provide it for you.

How do I hold space for myself?  I believe it first begins with harnessing your intention. What does that mean? Instead of getting ready to go out with the broadest, most generalized intention, e.g. ‘I want to have a good time tonight’ you MUST be more specific than that.

What do you see happening in your minds eye? What would be hot, stimulating, exciting for you? When do you want it to happen? HOW is this going to take place? Begin before you leave the house. WHERE? What are you wearing? What do you smell like? And most importantly what’s going on in your head as you prepare for this evening.

Consider the slave or the person in service to you. What energy do you want them to bring to the experience? Consider communicating this to them. Do you want them to be hot? Do you want them to be slutty? Do you want them to be innocent? What mood are you in? What feeling do you want to evoke in them?  Fear? Lust? Passion? Longing?

Consider this; You always get the exact experience that you desire.  If the night is hot, magical, intense – it is that way because you have desired it to be so.

From now on – Bring Your Own Energy….wherever you go.