When is a Master like a Big Baby? Is Mastery just selfishness dressed for the prom?
A hungry or wet baby isn’t trying to be mean or cruel to you as a parent by whimpering, crying or throwing an enraged screaming fit when needs aren’t being met. The baby doesn’t care about your bad day at the office or the fact that your car broke down and it took you an extra two hours to get home. They arent being cruel because they aren’t malicious at heart. They are creatures of pure need and they are helpless to provide for themselves. They are clueless about your day because that is beyond their scope of reference. The largest and most important Being in their universe is themselves. In the case of an infant, being totally self referenced isnt a sin – its entirely appropriate for their stage of development. As a Master on the other hand, being entirely self referenced is not only inappropriate, but for the long term health of the M/s dynamic could be potentially deadly to the relationship. Being clueless of what is going on with my slave and being totally focused on my own needs and wants is irresponsible at the least and potentially dangerous at the worst.
Okay – enough metaphor for one day.
But lets not ignore the question…how is being a Master not an elaborate exercise in self referenced behavior? Is our care and control exercised for the safety and well-being of those that we own an elaborate ruse to get our own needs met? Is there anything wrong with recognizing the fact that you need to give in order to get? After all, nobody would accuse me of selfish motives for spending my hard earned lucre on gas when the gauge gets below half full, or on tires or necessary parts when my auto is in a state of disrepair. There is an implicit understanding in the care and feeding of automobiles that if you plan to own and drive one for any length of time, the amount of care you will indirectly receive from said auto is at least commensurate with the amount of care you put into it.
Ok, so sue me. More metaphor. Delicious.
Seriously though – You get the point, RM? If we can take care of our tools, our automobiles and our domicile however grandiose or humble…then we should be actively and seriously looking at what is necessary to take care of our slave(s) or submissive(s) as well.
But take into consideration for a moment RM that ‘what is necessary’ can wear many different robes. Consider the property that is energized and fulfilled precisely by behavior from the owner that most would characterize as incredibly selfish, bordering on negligence or disinterest. Lets create a shared language of understanding around the term ‘care’for instance. Lets toss out the references to ‘care’ being synonymous with ‘burdensome’ because for this example they are tangential to the subject. I would submit, gentle RM that terms like ‘close attention’ would apply here. What about watchful oversight; charge or supervision – or to be concerned or interested. When we apply terms such as these to the Master/slave dynamic, these terms lead us down another very interesting pathway.
Picture a Master – perhaps yourself, gentle RM…taking your ease in your favorite chair. Your dress is comfortable you are enjoying a glass of your favorite vintage and you have your feet out front of you, resting comfortably on the back of your slave. Your cigar is lit and you are leisurely smoking perhaps, if such is your predilection, and one of your slaves hands is open at the ready to receive the ash, at the appropriate time. Some might prefer to use the mouth as ashtray, I’ve heard. Using your slave(s) as inanimate object might seem cruel and unusual to the untrained eye. However I believe that if done well, both Master and slave enjoy the experience in a state of bliss. Why? Because there is a critical distinction between selfishness and care within the M/s dynamic although in practice, actions may look fundamentally the same – only the intent behind them is different. The critical distinction is that selfishness cares not at all about outcome. The selfish hand takes without giving back and the selfish mouth consumes without regard as to where the provenance comes from. In this instance the selfish Master, the Big Baby that we referred to earlier doesn’t give a tinker’s damn what the slave is getting out of the experience. The caring Master on the other hand, although appearing to possess a cruel demeanor and a aloof, even dismissive affect, is at the same time observing very carefully and on some level is cataloging actions and reactions of the slave. The caring Master is mindful of the level and severity of fatigue experienced by the slave in holding the specific position, and may also be intentional about how long the slave can hold a specific position without moving.
In fact, that Master may decide to push the slave to near or complete failure by a specific action, or series of actions simply because he/she receives pleasure from doing so. They may be visibly unmoved by trembling, by tears or the apparent excruciating sensations generated within the body of the slave in holding said position. But this is all intentional. It takes energy, intention and focus to momentarily ignore or disavow the perceived needs of the submissive or slave for comfort, for respite or for a host of things that many would consider pleasant and ‘good’. To ignore their basic human needs for a time in pursuit of a specific goal or set of goals. The astute RM seeks not to be surprised by outcomes, for each test, each trial whether physical, as in this example or even spiritual or mental is a portal, an opportunity for the growth and development of the person owned, or for their instruction in one way or another. This isnt to say that the RM is omniscient or omnipresent – what he or she is…is paying attention.