OUTING: Definition; Outing, also known as doxing, refers to the act of openly revealing sensitive or personal information about someone without their consent for purposes of embarrassing or humiliating them. This can range from sharing someone’s legal name and personal or employment information with the kink community at large, to weaponizing social media by posting personal information connecting a persons scene name with their mainstream identity and/or information.
We’ve received a number of messages from those in the scene wondering what happened to slave Namaste’s Fet profile.
A very highly regarded Master and Mistress reached out to us this morning.
She asked if we were okay and expressed REAL CONCERN that this was done. And she said… “She OUTED you… and that is NOT okay”
Immediately we could see the ripples. How this says a great deal about our standards as a community…and it’s so much bigger than US.
One of the things we had to edit about our “Telling the truth” post (here) was that the person who accused slave Namaste of being transphobic OUTED her.
and… she’s a titleholder.
In the midst of the drama, and addressing so much of what occurred we didn’t think it mattered.
Because only ONE person had the temerity to TELL her that she outed slave Namaste.
Out of HUNDREDS of comments.
She screen captured items from slave Namaste’s mainstream FB profile with her LEGAL NAME on it and shared it with her KINKY audience AND told everyone where both Master Obsidian & slave Namaste would be presenting.
And NO ONE said anything. (we have blurred her name so as not to out her)
Just consider that for a moment.
Imagine yourself in that situation
Imagine this being done to you.
Imagine what it could cost you in regard to your children, your employment, your LIFE.
Yet… the ONLY thing anyone cared about was her slanderous accusation. And her lie that M/sC pulled US (when in fact we pulled out so as to not allow drama to detract from the conference)
This is terrifying to us. That a blatant OBVIOUS act like this is tolerated. That this is considered “Good behavior” by others.
She was actually called a “whistleblower” by a certain individual defending her.
Since then we’ve noticed others doing likewise. Sharing LEGAL names and locations on the Book of Faces in their zeal for call out culture.
In some sort of bizarre misguided attempt at justice people are listing on MAINSTREAM platforms others FetLife names and legal names. And this is CONDONED. (BTW… if you have been assaulted and want justice, this is what the LEGAL system exists for – NOT social media) –
Her behavior – as a titleholder has now EMBOLDENED others that this is the standard, this is Okay.
Is this what we want? Titleholders that use their voices to OUT people?
So why do we call this “NOT our IMsL”?
Because this person is currently Ms Texas Leather 2019 and will be competing for IMsL in 2020. The larger community and judges need to be aware and decide if THIS is the behavior we want representing us… and what this means for the FUTURE of this community.
Recognize that you’re responsible for who you ELECT to represent you, and who you celebrate in WRONG DOING to others. Title producers and judges need to remember that giving someone a sash and a back patch means they represent YOUR title and that says something about the DIRECTION you condone.
When we celebrate and condone Call OUT culture… it leads in swift order to OUTING culture.
And yes… for many it has no real effect…but let’s be honest, for the vast majority the effects of that are DEVASTATING. After all thats why so many in the Leather and BDSM communities have 2 profiles on social media or do not friend kink folks on social media.
For fear of this.
At one time we would have thought this was simply the nightmare of a fearful mind…that no one in this Community would EVER violate one of our most sacred rules. A rule that is based in safety, privacy and CONSENT.
Now we realize the monsters of nightmares walk amongst us with a sash and a Title.
Be careful out there, these Leather waters have gotten treacherous- those circling fins aren’t dolphins they are SHARKS.